Well this didnt work out well now did it. We'll be back after this commercial break...
Retool, RETOOL!!!!!!!!!!!!
seriously, I'll get this figured out.
Saturday, November 29, 2008
Monday, October 27, 2008
I will never go downtown again!
That's probably a pretty bold statement to make but its how I feel at the moment.
This past Thursday I was involved in a car accident. No major injuries, just a few sprains between the young boy and myself. The car looks like crap as well but we aren't driving it. My insurance company as been pleasant so far and called first thing Friday morning. We took the car to the shop and the rental company picked us up from there. The thing that bothered me most was that our kid was in the car. I feel like i put his life at risk especially since there is the possibility that i was in the wrong.
That's not a good feeling either.
My husband and I were in an accident three years ago, the other drivers fault. Same street different intersection... I really dislike downtown.
Anyway, since giving up driving isnt an option for me, I just have to deal with the nervous feeling in the pit of my stomach when ever I approach an intersection. Hopefully it will go away. The other thing that strikes me is that, it could have been much worse. While I'm glad it wasn't it reminded me that I am wasting time. I am wasting my life away. I was off from work and (same as the first accident I was in) and I was hit iby a car. That could have been the end. For me, for my son, for my husband. It's just that life really is too short to do things you absolutely hate. Paycheck be damned! I want to have a job I love and I will. Right now its just about getting on the right track to get there. Oh, and finding out where there is!
This past Thursday I was involved in a car accident. No major injuries, just a few sprains between the young boy and myself. The car looks like crap as well but we aren't driving it. My insurance company as been pleasant so far and called first thing Friday morning. We took the car to the shop and the rental company picked us up from there. The thing that bothered me most was that our kid was in the car. I feel like i put his life at risk especially since there is the possibility that i was in the wrong.
That's not a good feeling either.
My husband and I were in an accident three years ago, the other drivers fault. Same street different intersection... I really dislike downtown.
Anyway, since giving up driving isnt an option for me, I just have to deal with the nervous feeling in the pit of my stomach when ever I approach an intersection. Hopefully it will go away. The other thing that strikes me is that, it could have been much worse. While I'm glad it wasn't it reminded me that I am wasting time. I am wasting my life away. I was off from work and (same as the first accident I was in) and I was hit iby a car. That could have been the end. For me, for my son, for my husband. It's just that life really is too short to do things you absolutely hate. Paycheck be damned! I want to have a job I love and I will. Right now its just about getting on the right track to get there. Oh, and finding out where there is!
Saturday, October 11, 2008
Problems with thinking
So yesterday I didn't write a blog post regarding what I was thinking for the day. I suppose that means that the first lesson is that I don't always have a deep thought process going on in my head. Well, if that is the case then what in the world will I write about.
Well, today I want to talk about the days when you are not thinking. Like today. I went on a road trip with my family to Atlanta. We visited a new yarn (and fiber) store, visited a regular stop on the yarn (and fiber) market and went to a few places of interest to my son and husband. My son however was sick from the moment we took a step out the house. Poor thing, his tummy hurt. Problem is... his tummy always hurts. Especially when it involves things he doesn't want to do like, eating dinner, going to bed or taking a trip to the yarn store in the big city so that his loving mom doesn't go crazy. Well, that last one is only part true because there were places we were going that were specifically for him. We would probably take these trips more often being as we are only about an hour away but with gas being what it is.
The only real problem with the trip was that I seemed to get a lot of thinking done while I was driving in a perfunctory manner down miles of interstate. I found that I was not driving at my best. I love driving on road trips, not so much being lost. I also like the challenge of getting lost and using my brain to figure out streets and areas that are familiar to me. Its how you learn about new places. (In fact, when I was a kid my dad used to "get lost" on purpose. It was always sort of funny to me. As he pulled out the driveway he would get one or two kids running after him asking where he was going. Normally the answer was "crazy." But eventually we got bored with that answer and asked if we could go crazy with him. The answer was always no. We were the reason he was crazy and why would he take us with him. He would just sort of laugh as we looked shocked that we couldnt go... not that he said it, but that he wouldnt let us go with him. He then proceeded to take drives down backroads and highways for a few hours at a time. He ALWAYS ended up finding his way back to some street or highway he knew and found a new route for the experience. ) So the problem with driving today was that my brain was not all there. I would make simple mistakes and felt like I was a real obstruction on the road. I suppose that best thing to do would be to let my husband drive for me but I like being in control of the car. There is just something comforting about it in a sense.
That's really it for today. I might think about this some more but for now I have to relax some. It was a long... long day!
Well, today I want to talk about the days when you are not thinking. Like today. I went on a road trip with my family to Atlanta. We visited a new yarn (and fiber) store, visited a regular stop on the yarn (and fiber) market and went to a few places of interest to my son and husband. My son however was sick from the moment we took a step out the house. Poor thing, his tummy hurt. Problem is... his tummy always hurts. Especially when it involves things he doesn't want to do like, eating dinner, going to bed or taking a trip to the yarn store in the big city so that his loving mom doesn't go crazy. Well, that last one is only part true because there were places we were going that were specifically for him. We would probably take these trips more often being as we are only about an hour away but with gas being what it is.
The only real problem with the trip was that I seemed to get a lot of thinking done while I was driving in a perfunctory manner down miles of interstate. I found that I was not driving at my best. I love driving on road trips, not so much being lost. I also like the challenge of getting lost and using my brain to figure out streets and areas that are familiar to me. Its how you learn about new places. (In fact, when I was a kid my dad used to "get lost" on purpose. It was always sort of funny to me. As he pulled out the driveway he would get one or two kids running after him asking where he was going. Normally the answer was "crazy." But eventually we got bored with that answer and asked if we could go crazy with him. The answer was always no. We were the reason he was crazy and why would he take us with him. He would just sort of laugh as we looked shocked that we couldnt go... not that he said it, but that he wouldnt let us go with him. He then proceeded to take drives down backroads and highways for a few hours at a time. He ALWAYS ended up finding his way back to some street or highway he knew and found a new route for the experience. ) So the problem with driving today was that my brain was not all there. I would make simple mistakes and felt like I was a real obstruction on the road. I suppose that best thing to do would be to let my husband drive for me but I like being in control of the car. There is just something comforting about it in a sense.
That's really it for today. I might think about this some more but for now I have to relax some. It was a long... long day!
Thursday, October 9, 2008
Who am I to decide?
This is a tough thought for me to put into words. It is one of the reasons that I wanted to start a blog aimed at letting me write out what I am thinking. When I say things I trip over my words and just can't get them across. I'm a little better when I write things out. Not much, but a little. It just gives me that chance to really think over and "perfect" what I am trying to say. It helps that these writings are geared more toward my thoughts and responses to what goes on around me so its a bit of a glimpse into my personal life. I'll try not to make it too boring.
*******************
The setup:
So, a few days ago I was at work and had an interesting situation occur. I was talking with a co-worker and headed towards the break room when we passed a group of fellow employees. After we passed this group my co-worker scrunched up their face and said "ick." Since we were talking about ice cream I inquired if they hated the particular flavor, chocolate. Just as soon as I said it the response was uttered "No, I hate people who change their sex.' Wow, just wow.
Thoughts:
See, that's prejudice on a whole new level for me. I mean, I really shouldn't have been surprised. About 3 years ago there was an occasion when I bought my son to work and people were gathered around him. Apparently this co-worker wanted to know whose kid that was and proceeded to ask the person next to them. When the other person responded the co-worker thought they didn't know what child they were talking about. "No, the one right there." When the person confirmed that they did indeed know what child and whose it was this co-worker felt a little embarrassed. Maybe not as much as they should have been since they admitted to me that they had made the assumption that the little white boy at the office wasn't my little boy.
Still, it shocks me. I don't make these assumptions. I don't care if someone had a sex change. It's none of my DAMN business. Yet, this conversation still bothers me and haunts me. I didn't really have anything to say to my co-worker. Just that I had just found out this year. Conversation dwindled then. Some things you just don't say at a professional office.
So from here this is what started to get under my skin. I'm a black person, married to a white person who has a white son who calls me mom. I went to a majority white all girls college. Seeing alternative lifestyles i.e. lesbian activities mean nothing to me. (I don't like Public Displays of Affection but thats another story.) I went to a majority black elementary, middle, high school where my best friends ranged from standard black girl, to muslim black girl to a white male. I know it is bound to happen BUT I have never directly been assaulted by rascism or prejudice in my life. I shouldn't be upset by this because it has nothing to do with me. Someone at work changed their sex from female to male... someone at work thinks its disgusting. Not my issue. What I think dug under my skin was the venom and quickness with which judgement was rendered. Even now thinking about it makes me want to cry. It reminds me how I am not like these people who work corporate jobs and have preset ideas and beliefs. I'm not the kind of person who would disown my child if they were gay or transgendered or wanted to have a sex change. Yes, it may not be something I understand and I WILL have a lot of questions should I ever be faced with it one day. But I always cracked that up to part of life.
When I see the employee who had a sex change operation, I don't look directly at him. I don't do it out of disgust, I do it out of a certain amount of respect for his privacy. I know that I am the kind of person who would want to examine with my eyes, ask questions face to face, know and understand what this person was going through or why they made these decisions. Ultimately, you can't do that to everyone you come across who is different then you. They have to go on with there lives and they cant stop to answer questions from 101 so-called normal people.
This post has gotten long and there is a branch off conversation that furthered this issue for me but I will have to write about that at another time.
So, a few days ago I was at work and had an interesting situation occur. I was talking with a co-worker and headed towards the break room when we passed a group of fellow employees. After we passed this group my co-worker scrunched up their face and said "ick." Since we were talking about ice cream I inquired if they hated the particular flavor, chocolate. Just as soon as I said it the response was uttered "No, I hate people who change their sex.' Wow, just wow.
Thoughts:
See, that's prejudice on a whole new level for me. I mean, I really shouldn't have been surprised. About 3 years ago there was an occasion when I bought my son to work and people were gathered around him. Apparently this co-worker wanted to know whose kid that was and proceeded to ask the person next to them. When the other person responded the co-worker thought they didn't know what child they were talking about. "No, the one right there." When the person confirmed that they did indeed know what child and whose it was this co-worker felt a little embarrassed. Maybe not as much as they should have been since they admitted to me that they had made the assumption that the little white boy at the office wasn't my little boy.
Still, it shocks me. I don't make these assumptions. I don't care if someone had a sex change. It's none of my DAMN business. Yet, this conversation still bothers me and haunts me. I didn't really have anything to say to my co-worker. Just that I had just found out this year. Conversation dwindled then. Some things you just don't say at a professional office.
So from here this is what started to get under my skin. I'm a black person, married to a white person who has a white son who calls me mom. I went to a majority white all girls college. Seeing alternative lifestyles i.e. lesbian activities mean nothing to me. (I don't like Public Displays of Affection but thats another story.) I went to a majority black elementary, middle, high school where my best friends ranged from standard black girl, to muslim black girl to a white male. I know it is bound to happen BUT I have never directly been assaulted by rascism or prejudice in my life. I shouldn't be upset by this because it has nothing to do with me. Someone at work changed their sex from female to male... someone at work thinks its disgusting. Not my issue. What I think dug under my skin was the venom and quickness with which judgement was rendered. Even now thinking about it makes me want to cry. It reminds me how I am not like these people who work corporate jobs and have preset ideas and beliefs. I'm not the kind of person who would disown my child if they were gay or transgendered or wanted to have a sex change. Yes, it may not be something I understand and I WILL have a lot of questions should I ever be faced with it one day. But I always cracked that up to part of life.
When I see the employee who had a sex change operation, I don't look directly at him. I don't do it out of disgust, I do it out of a certain amount of respect for his privacy. I know that I am the kind of person who would want to examine with my eyes, ask questions face to face, know and understand what this person was going through or why they made these decisions. Ultimately, you can't do that to everyone you come across who is different then you. They have to go on with there lives and they cant stop to answer questions from 101 so-called normal people.
This post has gotten long and there is a branch off conversation that furthered this issue for me but I will have to write about that at another time.
Ponderings....
I do a lot of thinking. Sometimes its good and sometimes its bad. You may or may not know that I already have a blog that features the (mis)adventures of my crafting busi-hobby-ness. Well, I am a bit of a rambler and I don't really feel like my rambles always fit in with my other things. So here I am, this is a bit of an experiment in discipline. I try to write 2-3 times a week on my craft blog but that doesn't happen a lot. Here I am going to try to write about something everyday that I have given deep consideration to throughout the course of that day. I do a LOT of thinking. (My husband calls it worrying.) Just remember nothing I say is meant to impress, persuade or offend. Its just me. Deal with it.
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